Title
by Blair Chotzinoff
Take a well marbled cut of young steer aged for a month in a cool, fanned environment, place it next to a wood-fired oven of at least 1500 degrees and cook it until it presents a tempting savory pink within and crispy brown to dark without, a suggestion of jus staining the underside of a 16 ounce N.Y. strip sirloin steak and a texture so tender it slices easily with a butter knife. So, your satiation arrived with a greater potency than your original greed. The restaurant is pleased to stuff the remains in a white Styrofoam box for you to take home. The next day, with visions of yesterday’s prime perfection, you open the steak box and what is revealed? A few mangy, wrinkled, gray slices of meat that tastes, if you get that far, like sole (not Dover. Try shoe).
You have offended the spirits that live in the refrigerator. In addition to cooling food initially when stored for preservation, they are dedicated to turning leftover meats into substances only a hungry dog would eat. Their influence extends to the creamy cheeses that become grainy and hard the second time around and the vegetables shriveled, twisted and bent. Fresh fruit fares no better. Sweetly crisp apples, pears and melons dripping exotic and wildly perfumed flesh must not be returned to the lower bins of the refrigerator, or anywhere else in the machine after the first main withdrawal. To do so turns them into dried, misshapen, discolored, perhaps even poisonous offal.
I think of leftovers as leftunders due to the position of the trip I launch them on beneath the garbage can lid. After any food’s virgin trip from field, stockyard, ocean or river to ice-a-box you may safely consume it with great expectations of taste, beauty, health and all around gustatory satisfaction. Lift it from its icy repose a second time and become aware of the leftover spirits casting their destructive curses upon your snack. It’s useless to fight. Remove the offending second act selections and send them to terrorists in the middle East. They have no taste for democracy yet might develop a craving for second hand leftovers. It would serve them right!
by Blair Chotzinoff
Take a well marbled cut of young steer aged for a month in a cool, fanned environment, place it next to a wood-fired oven of at least 1500 degrees and cook it until it presents a tempting savory pink within and crispy brown to dark without, a suggestion of jus staining the underside of a 16 ounce N.Y. strip sirloin steak and a texture so tender it slices easily with a butter knife. So, your satiation arrived with a greater potency than your original greed. The restaurant is pleased to stuff the remains in a white Styrofoam box for you to take home. The next day, with visions of yesterday’s prime perfection, you open the steak box and what is revealed? A few mangy, wrinkled, gray slices of meat that tastes, if you get that far, like sole (not Dover. Try shoe).
You have offended the spirits that live in the refrigerator. In addition to cooling food initially when stored for preservation, they are dedicated to turning leftover meats into substances only a hungry dog would eat. Their influence extends to the creamy cheeses that become grainy and hard the second time around and the vegetables shriveled, twisted and bent. Fresh fruit fares no better. Sweetly crisp apples, pears and melons dripping exotic and wildly perfumed flesh must not be returned to the lower bins of the refrigerator, or anywhere else in the machine after the first main withdrawal. To do so turns them into dried, misshapen, discolored, perhaps even poisonous offal.
I think of leftovers as leftunders due to the position of the trip I launch them on beneath the garbage can lid. After any food’s virgin trip from field, stockyard, ocean or river to ice-a-box you may safely consume it with great expectations of taste, beauty, health and all around gustatory satisfaction. Lift it from its icy repose a second time and become aware of the leftover spirits casting their destructive curses upon your snack. It’s useless to fight. Remove the offending second act selections and send them to terrorists in the middle East. They have no taste for democracy yet might develop a craving for second hand leftovers. It would serve them right!